it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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