I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
