id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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