I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
