Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
