Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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