I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
