I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize