You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
