It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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