He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
