I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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