ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
