do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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