you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
