Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
