Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
