So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Never underestimate the power of titties
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