No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
