i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
