After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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