I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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