exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
someone owes me an orgasm
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
