yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
