Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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