My first STD was from a foam party
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
