you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
