No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
