addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
