Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All I want is dick and wine.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
