He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
