So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we made out on top of his cat.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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