I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
