I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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