How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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