I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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