I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Vodka?
Forever.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
