Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
