ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
