There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
