oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
