why do cheetos always look like penises
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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