no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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