just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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