He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
