i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
