I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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