how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
