Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
