i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are the jesus of drinking
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
