so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize