It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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