Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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