white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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