Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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