does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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