I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
