I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
