From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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