big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Enjoy the penises
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
