It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
