Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize