wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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