it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my liver is dry heaving
COCAINE IS GR8
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
